Monday, September 23, 2019

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“No One Brings Me Anywhere” Chelsea Grandmother Claims

A Chelsea pensioner has come out with fresh revelations to complete strangers today in a bid to taint her immediate family as ‘narcissistic arseholes’ who apparently never bring her anywhere, we can confirm.

Gladys Coombes, a widow of 15 years, slammed her sons and daughters for never calling in for her when they’re going on family drives, stating ‘no one has time for an old fogey like her anymore’, despite evidence to the contrary.

“We’re literally only back from a two week holiday with her,” daughter Caroline explains, “all she did was moan about everything in Spain and now she’s off moaning about us again. We can’t even post family pictures up anymore or she’ll feel she’s missing out”.

Coombes made the claims to the new postman early this morning, detailing how none of her 4 children would even think of asking her to go “for a spin” last Sunday afternoon to Tramore, claiming they were purposely teasing her with a variety of fun pictures of them eating 99s.

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“It must be nice to be able to ignore your poor mother like that and not even bother to ask her if she wanted to go,” the 76-year-old said, forgetting to tell the postman how she point blank refused to go ‘to that southern infested shit hole’ in a text to her son Mark, “they never bring me anywhere – they only call when they need someone to babysit their little tyrants”.

The alarm was raised again later when Mrs. Joyce posted a series of image quotes about loneliness to her Facebook profile while attending her bi-weekly bridge club with her friends.

“Mum, is moaning at the bingo, shes doing the attention seeking quote thing again,” a family group text read, with the only replies being ‘seen’ notifications under the text.

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