Tuesday, November 19, 2019

Share This

Catford Woman To Give House The Once Over Before Cleaner Arrives

Already at odds with the idea of another person coming around to tidy her house, Catford local Teresa Street has reluctantly agreed to hire a professional cleaner for an hour this weekend, but not before she ‘pulls a rag around the house’ first.

Leading a hectic lifestyle that involves a committed work schedule, four kids at school and all their assorted extra-curricular activities, the Street family decided to enlist the help of a local cleaning company to keep their home in order, with a cleaner scheduled to arrive at 9am on Saturday morning.

Advertisement

However, matriarch Teresa has undertaken an intensive ‘pre-tidy’ tidy up ahead of that, in fear of mortification as to what the cleaner would think about the state of the house that she was hired to clean.

“Between my wife and I, we do our best to keep the house tidy, but with the boys and our own work schedule, it can get a bit messy” explained Simon Street, over the sound of frantic hoovering.

“Now, while I seem to be perfectly happy with a cleaner coming in and helping out, Teresa is quite frankly ‘f*cking on one’. She’s spent the last two hours ‘giving the house the once over’, muttering about how she can’t let the cleaner come into the house like this. And there’s a lot of ‘the shame’ talk coming out of her.  I tried to say leave it for whoever lands on Saturday, but she’s not to be told. At this rate, there’ll be nothing for the cleaner to do. I wonder would they mow the lawn?”

UPDATE: The cleaner arrived to a spotless Street house on Saturday at 9am, then spent an hour watching telly before clocking out.


Also see: Surrey Man Happy To Pause TV Programme If You’re Going To Talk Over It

Do you want to see more? Follow us on Facebook or Twitter.

Popular Articles

Nov.02

Entertainment

Call of Duty: Modern Warfare Review

It doesn’t take long for the guilt to set in. You’re holding a handgun in London’s Piccadilly Circus as terrorists run wild with assault rifles and flames bloom from a...

Oct.28

Tech News UK

Vodafone will be providing flying taxis and drones in Europe

Vodafone will provide 5G infrastructure across Europe for Ehang, the global autonomous aircraft firm.

Oct.25

Football

Leicester: Title Contenders Watch Out!

​​Leicester's 9-0 win over Southampton broke all sort of Premier League records but it's quite possible they could actual title challengers this season.

Oct.22

Tech News UK

MoD to invest £1.5bn on framework for digital and IT contractors

The Ministry of Defence is to set up a £1.5bn multi-year framework to address its need for external contractors in IT and digital roles.

Oct.28

Tech News UK

UK government plans new funding for robot development

The UK government has announced new funding for research around autonomous systems which will range from care robots to automated personal shoppers.

Oct.25

Football

Norwich Were Beaten to Signing of Daniel James by Man Utd

​Daniel Farke has revealed that Norwich were interested in signing Daniel James before the Welshman signed for Manchester United.

Oct.22

Tech News UK

UK Government boosts AI skills

The Department for Business, Energy & Industrial Strategy (BEIS) has announced funding to boost the national artificial intelligence (AI) skills base.

Oct.25

Entertainment

Amazon Echo Studio Review: Apple HomePod watch out!

The company’s existing smart speakers have proven their use, but the thought of one that delivers sound able to rival Apple’s HomePod is a truly tantalising prospect

Oct.26

Tech News UK

£8 billion invested in Birmingham UK digital hub

Why is Birmingham set to become a leading UK digital hub?

Oct.27

Football

Pep Guardiola Says Jack Grealish Is 'Too Expensive' for City

​Pep Guardiola was full of praise for the 'incredible' Jack Grealish after Man City swept aside Aston Villa on Saturday, but admitted that the Aston Villa midfielder was 'too expensive...

Nov.01

Football

10 of Man Utd's Greatest Premier League Goals

​Manchester United created history against Norwich City at Carrow Road when Scott McTominay, of all people, scored their 2,000th Premier League goal.

Oct.25

Football

Managers Who Could Take Over at Southampton

​If someone had told you on Friday afternoon that Leicester City would score more in their Premier League fixture at Southampton than New Zealand would in their rugby World Cup...

Nov.09

Football

Cristiano Ronaldo Denies Tax Evasion Claims: He Is Simply an Easy Target

​Juventus forward Cristiano Ronaldo complained to a judge that he's only at the centre of a tax evasion investigation because of who he is, rather than anything he's done.

Oct.21

Entertainment

Roku Premiere Review: Top 4K TV streaming

Roku has a reputation for making excellent TV streamers with a peerless library of apps, albeit at a higher cost than rivals from Google and Amazon.

Oct.24

Tech News UK

Blackburn council look to business intelligence for transformation

Blackburn Council is looking to explore the use of business intelligence to make the most of the data at its disposal.

Popular

Tech Reviews

Canon EOS 90D UK Review: Does the lot

Has there ever been a better time to be in the market for a new advanced DSLR? Manufacturers are thumping them out at an incredible rate of knots, and the...

By Peter Flynn - Nov.03

Football

Managers Who Could Take Over at Southampton

​If someone had told you on Friday afternoon that Leicester City would score more in their Premier League fixture at Southampton than New Zealand would in their rugby World Cup...

By Connor Stevens - Oct.25

Football

Jürgen Klopp Wants Football Authorities to Put Player Welfare 'Before Money'

Liverpool manager Jürgen Klopp has called on FIFA, UEFA, the FA and the rest of football's leading authorities to come together and come up with a solution to the hectic...

By Peter Flynn - Nov.02

Tech News UK

UK government plans new funding for robot development

The UK government has announced new funding for research around autonomous systems which will range from care robots to automated personal shoppers.

By Peter Flynn - Oct.28

Log in or Sign up