Monday, September 23, 2019

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Catford Woman To Give House The Once Over Before Cleaner Arrives

Already at odds with the idea of another person coming around to tidy her house, Catford local Teresa Street has reluctantly agreed to hire a professional cleaner for an hour this weekend, but not before she ‘pulls a rag around the house’ first.

Leading a hectic lifestyle that involves a committed work schedule, four kids at school and all their assorted extra-curricular activities, the Street family decided to enlist the help of a local cleaning company to keep their home in order, with a cleaner scheduled to arrive at 9am on Saturday morning.

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However, matriarch Teresa has undertaken an intensive ‘pre-tidy’ tidy up ahead of that, in fear of mortification as to what the cleaner would think about the state of the house that she was hired to clean.

“Between my wife and I, we do our best to keep the house tidy, but with the boys and our own work schedule, it can get a bit messy” explained Simon Street, over the sound of frantic hoovering.

“Now, while I seem to be perfectly happy with a cleaner coming in and helping out, Teresa is quite frankly ‘f*cking on one’. She’s spent the last two hours ‘giving the house the once over’, muttering about how she can’t let the cleaner come into the house like this. And there’s a lot of ‘the shame’ talk coming out of her.  I tried to say leave it for whoever lands on Saturday, but she’s not to be told. At this rate, there’ll be nothing for the cleaner to do. I wonder would they mow the lawn?”

UPDATE: The cleaner arrived to a spotless Street house on Saturday at 9am, then spent an hour watching telly before clocking out.

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